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He made me mad

Well, last night Brother got me mad. He took my place during story time with Dad and Mom. It was my turn to sit in the middle, but he said it was his turn, when he had already sat there the night before. Then he said that whoever was ready for bed first would get to choose their place. And I was! Well, I kind of cheated because I was getting dressed into my pajamas on that very spot. And so he acted up real big and strong because of it. Dad and Mom sent us out of the room to work things out. Brother yelled at me and I sat on the floor in a heap of tears. There was nothing to work out if he was the one who had to always be right, was there? Or if he was the only one that could get a word into the conversation.

But I decided to stay silent this once, as I knew that yelling back at him was not going to help the situation. He has the louder voice anyway. I waited till he calmed down and then… then it happened. Something made him stop. Something made him be quiet. Something even made him smile. Aha! Must have been the song that was playing in the background. Or maybe just the fact that I didn’t try to fight back? It made me think of that verse that says “A gentle answer turns away anger.” I was sad and offended and hurt, but I didn’t let it get me angry and yelling mad. Just waiting in my sad heap maybe did help? He finally called me to his room to write up a plan. A plan! I’ve never heard Brother say anything about a plan before. But what a genius idea. What! Did I really say that? Ok, well this once, he did come up with a smart solution. I sure preferred that over continuing to argue about what it is he wanted and me fighting back with what I wanted.

And so our plan… well it must have been a genius plan after all because it still works to do this day. I just wished that I would have thought of it first. Nothing too brainy, you know. Just some names and dates and check marks, that’s all.

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Not again!

I heard it again! No! Why me? I thought. Dad came to remind me about doing the lunch dishes today, AGAIN! But this time I was busy cleaning and tidying up my room. I was doing a good thing. Why did he have to come and tell me of something else I had to do? I got mad, real mad! I yelled at him and said some pretty bad words that I feel sorry for now. He didn’t mean to get me upset. He probably didn’t even realize that I was doing another “good” thing that he would have been even happy about. It’s not his fault that he came to remind me. It’s a pretty usual thing that has to be done with me anyway. Because, well, I don’t like doing certain things that I have to do.

But then, I shouldn’t have let all these words rush out of my mouth like a tsunami wave or let my temper rise to the third floor of our house. Mom came in to see what happened because she was afraid world war 3 was starting. A little exaggerated of course. But she heard the upset mess too, since she was just next door.

I’ve made up with Dad since. Well, not really officially, but definitely in my heart. Does that count too? I love him so much and he deserves the very best that I can give him. I had lots of time to think about what I said and what I did to him, because I took all afternoon to make him his Christmas gift. What else was I to think about?

Well, I ended up having to do dinner instead because I took too long to get to the kitchen and do the dishes. I would probably not have done a very good job either, still feeling a bit upset about the whole thing. I guess sometimes I just wish I wouldn’t be told what to do all the time. I do most of the time remember what needs to be done, but I just don’t feel like doing it. If I don’t feel like eating snack, I just don’t eat one. If I don’t feel thirsty, I don’t go out of my way to drink water. If I am not dirty, I don’t wash myself. (Oops, don’t tell that one to Mom. It’s just between us here, my diary and I.) Though I guess it doesn’t work with everything. If I don’t feel like doing dishes, I wish there was a button that could just make it all happen by itself, with or without me. We do have a dishwasher that makes things tons easier than last year when we didn’t have one. And all we have to do is push a button and put some dishes and soap in. But maybe I’m getting so used to it now, that anything I need to do in the kitchen is STILL a big job! Pots, pans that don’t fit in the dishwasher, counters and table to clean, sink to wipe, food put-away, etc. etc.

Hummm. I’m thinking about this one! If I want to keep eating, I guess I’ve got to be content with doing the dishes once in a while, shouldn’t I? Eating = dishes. Me eating = Me doing dishes. I’m learning to be happy about this one.